Recently my fiance brought home some cookies from our local health food store (Healthy Living). These cookies were like nothing I have ever had. As a baker I tend to be picky about which baked goods I like, they really must be of the best quality. Anyway, these cookies were baked by a locally owned company Vermont Cookie Love. Long story short, if you find Cookie Love cookies in a store near you do not be put off by their high price tag because they are totally worth it!

Memories are a weird thing. When do life experiences become memories and not current events? I was asked for a homework assignment to recall some of my own memories and it got me thinking not only about my past but about what memories mean. I grew very upset emotionally when recalling even happy memories because the fact that I will never again be in that wonderful moment. All I have left is to remember what it felt like to be so happy. I’m not saying that I’m not happy currently but I am saying that there is very little in my life that trumps the sheer joy of being a child. Anyway, this got me to thinking about when memories become memories. I have had great experiences within the past 3 or so years but I still catalogue these as current events, not as memories. Will remembering these times bring back as much nostalgia as remembering my childhood many years down the road? I guess I will have to wait and see.

Another thing that my memories got me thinking about is how do people enjoy their lives when they grew up siblingless? ALL of my memories revolve around my brother and the things we did. Okay, not all but I’d say about 95% of my memories are ones created with him. I have memories of independent times like reading my library books and I have family memories. But by far my favorite memories are the ones involving Scott. Life was and is so much more fun with him around which always provides for a good memory. But his lack of presence also provides for some bad memories. One of the things that I remembered were our family walks during the spring, summer, and fall. It was not the actual walks or the places we went that I remembered but the year that Scott stopped coming on those walks. I know now that he had just grown out of family time but I remember the hurt and personal rejection that I felt, as if his rejection of the walks was a direct rejection of me. It is those feelings that I remember on top of the feelings of acceptance (times when his friends weren’t around). I begin to wonder, how can happy memories be so sad? I guess that it’s part of being human.

Isn’t it funny how things that don’t seem important during their happening become some of your best memories. The every day experiences and the routines that you followed for summers on end. I guess it is our memories that separate each and everyone of us. Our memories are how we view the world because someone could have stood in the same location looking at the same thing at the same time but they could have internalized the event so completely different than you. I wonder what my brothers memories are and I wonder if any of them involve me.

That is all. Hopefully you all will all recall some great memories.

So I got my wisdom teeth out this morning and I’m feeling some pain. The pain is being treated with some ibuprofen and a nice cold milk shake. Anyway, my biggest fear (besides not being so wise anymore) is that something goes wrong and my stitches fall out too early or I do something stupid.

I am staying hydrated and keeping a nice bag of ice on my face but I do hope that some day soon I feel normal again. I want to be able to eat pizza and bagels and veggies. As much as I love ice cream, pudding, milk shakes, and jell-o, I am not sure how long I can survive on liquid food. Geez, I wonder how babies feel!

Well, I am off to go watch some more television, not like that is any different from what I have been doing since 11 o’clock this morning.

Hi all, sorry for the long (almost two months) break in posting. Since December I have started a new semester at school and I have taken up babysitting. Both of which I absolutely love. School keeps me much busier than I would like but I guess that is what you get when you’re dedicated to school work. Sometimes I wonder how people can feel so okay with incomplete work. I have a hard time sleeping at night when everything is not done and checked off the list. Oh well. One class that has been no work and is 100% fun is racquetball. At UVM we are required to take at least two gym classes and racquetball is my first gym credit. Other than gym I am also taking my practicum classes as well as a phonics class and an environmental history seminar. All of which are great.

However, I decided it would be a fun idea to take this weekend off. I usually have a four day weekend so the fact that Presidents’ Day is this Monday didn’t really make a difference for me but it gave Tristan a three day weekend. Anyway, we decided to head up to Montreal for some good old city adventure. I always think that Burlington is huge but then I go to some place of a much bigger size and I am blown away. I love the city. I love city transportation, I love all the activity, I love the restaurants, and I love people watching. However, I am glad that I do not live in a large city. I was sitting in a coffee shop watching a homeless man beg for money. He followed people down the street and he washed car windshields expecting money in return. All of this made me nervous. I understand that homelessness is a big problem and that people who are fine upstanding citizens become homeless because of one circumstance or another, especially now, but I always have to wonder how someone of around the age of 30 becomes homeless. Is it drugs? Is it alcohol? I wish that I could help. I wish the money that people give is used to buy food or saved to have a warm place to sleep but somewhere deep down I really question that. Homelessness is such a cruel area. You cannot get a job because you have no place to get clean, you have no phone for employers to call, you have no address for mail to be sent to, and worst of all you are going through a rough and depressing time in your life.

Homelessness is not something new to me, we have many homeless people living in Vermont but none of this degree. I wish that all people could have a place to live and a warm meal on their plates at least once a day but I know that’s not going to happen. Anyway, this particular person watching experience made me think. This man was there and I was watching him like a play, each of us in our own separate world. I was so interested but sad and scared at the same time. It was really quite a scene.

Hi all, I hope that everyone is having a bearable holiday season. I had my own fun today when I made my own homemade wrapping paper. I came up with the idea late last night and today I got the supplies. I went to Staples and got packing paper. I then stamped pictures on the paper and wrapped all of my presents. Not only was this cheap, I think I’ll have enough paper to last me for the rest of my life for under $3, but it was fun. It is also green because the paper is recyclable and biodegradable which is all fantastic.

On a much colder note we got 11.4 in. of snow last night and this morning which really kicked me into the holiday spirit. It is now 4 degrees outside and we’re are waiting for another storm tomorrow. I also just made homemade fudge (dad style) which always reminds me of the Christmas time.